GAMECUBE WARNINGS #1
Who says the Japanese are smarter than we are? Look at the encyclopedia of warnings they have in their Japanese GameCube manuals. What have the Japanese been doing to their game systems over the years to warrant these kind of safety precautions?
 
  If your power outlet becomes sentient and starts communicating with you DO NOT plug anything into it. You could seriously damage what may be the start of a beautiful friendship between humans and (hopefully) hilariously sassy electricity with a penchant for wacky one-liners.
  Placing a wig or other disguises on your GameCube to pretty it up for your own sick fetishes is not only disgusting, but highly irregular. If you find yourself kissing, caressing or otherwise fondling the system in a manner that the Pope would deem "Over the Top", please desist immediately.
  Pressuring your GameCube to start smoking or drinking is strictly prohibited. The GameCube system is not meant to ingest these toxins. If your GameCube accidentally starts smoking on it's own, please order the Nintendo GameCube Patch and allow it to kick the habit within 4-6 weeks.
  Urinating on your GameCube may cause the system to smell bad for a period of time. It may also interfere with the normal functions of the system. Even if you are upset with the fact that you should have bought an XBox instead, please use a toilet like a normal person would.
  Precariously positioning your GameCube to bring harm against ugly annoying children is a general No-No. Also, do not instruct the child to nurse on the powercord as this may result in teeth abnormalities and brain disorders, which may lead to an eventual career in game journalism.
  Do not get to close to the GameCube if it has not been fed in a long period of time. It may snap at you or bite. If you are caught by it's powerful jaws, simply say the magic incantation:"Miyamoto - Miyamoto - Miyamoto" and it should release you. If this doesn't work, call in the SWAT team., cuz you're a dead man.
 

The Nintendo Accordian Peripheral (NA-1001) will not hook up directly to the GameCube. You will need the Accordian Ethernet Hub adapter (allows up to 4 accordians) and the Accordian Link Cables. "The Legend of Zelda: Accordian of Time" is sold separately.
  Sacrificing your GameCube system to the Dark Overlord of Hell is not recommended. Doing so may result in disembodied voices eminating from your soul, discharges of dark green vomit, uncontrollable swearing, levitation and most disturbingly, a penchant for old Ozzy tunes.
  If you are unsure if contact with the Prince of Darkness has been made, check the GameCube to see if a small pointy devil tail hasn't grown out of it's posterior canal. If this is the case, do not plug the devil tail into anything electrical as this will give Satan the doorway to our world that he has been craving for centuries.
  Using the GameCube(s) as platform shoes to get the ladies is not something it was intended to do. If you do intend to use the system for this purpose, disconnect any controller cords or powercords that may obstruct your ability to walk cooly into a room full of hot babes. Nintendo is not held responsible for any ugly chicks that you get stuck with.