Top 8 Sexiest Characters of 2012
For the second time this year, I have been given the opportunity to write about sexy video game characters. (Last time, I was writing about sexy villainesses.) Life is good. And luckily, so was 2012’s gaming lineup. We’ve had brilliant triple-A titles, fantastic and innovative new IPS, genres turned on their head, and a comic-to-game adaptation that didn’t suck. And, consequently, we found and came to love a new round of gorgeous, comically proportioned, quintessentially sexy casts and protagonists. So here you have it, the top ten characters that contributed some invaluable eye candy to the year and made their games that much more enticing.
Full disclaimer: This article will consist entirely of women. As a male gamer, there is little I can do about this. Yell at biology, not me. If you’re really pining to hear about some of the men that lead the gaming charge of sexiness, check out Jenni Lada’s Top 10 Men of Gaming That I’ve Had A Crush On.
And, as with any Top Ten list, I can only draw on my personal gaming experience. Unfortunately, and I’m ashamed to admit it, I haven’t played every game that came out this year. So please, readers, tell me who I’m missing, what’s so great about them, or who you feel I put out of order. I’m confident every comment will be perfectly coherent and propose a valid point, so fire away.
8. Liza Snow (Far Cry 3)
Although Far Cry 3 was a bit late—fashionably so, says this writer—to the party, it proved to be an absolutely stunning and immersive shooter experience. With one of the best villains in gaming history, well-made multiplayer, engaging single-player, and a breathtaking island to explore, it more than made its mark on the holiday season. And who better to share Jason Brody’s peril and thrills than the lovely Ms. Snow? I can certainly think of far worse people to get kidnapped by pirates with. Beautiful and strong-willed, Liza is the best damsel in distress since Daphne Blake, and took gold in the “Definitely A Better Partner than Sheva of RE5” Olympics. So she’s pretty much awesome.
7. Cortana (Halo 4)
The Halo franchise’s 2012 overhaul was an intimidating gamble, but oh man, did we win it big. As much as I would love to gush over every technical aspect of the game (multiplayer, weapon variety, fluidity—I’ll be here all day), you’re better off with Cheat Code Central’s official review of the game.
But I’d advise you to pay attention to one thing in particular—or one lady, rather. To say that Cortana looks “a little different” is like saying Skyrim has a few options. I’m willing to bet that every hologram spent a night sweeping up their shattered self-esteem after watching this A.I. strut about.
Don’t worry; although I would also love to make PC jargon-inspired jokes about RAM and ports, I promise I won’t do that. Next!
6. Lady Calista (The Last Story)
Believe it or not, the Wii isn’t exactly known for its hardcore RPGs. A real shocker, right? But it’s the genre’s scarcity, among other things, that makes The Last Story something truly valuable. And there’s plenty about Calista that makes the game even more special. Generic RPG characters are practically a science in the 21st century, but there are few on the list as entertaining as “the condemned princess who longs for her freedom.” Seriously, I was just waiting to hear about an evil witch or fearsome dragon when I first got to know this lovely Arganan princess. Instead, I spent a game alongside a polite, rapier-wielding noble with a strong sense of justice whose regal attire always caught my eye.
5. Sandra (Sleeping Dogs)
Nearly everyone in Sleeping Dogs has enough style and character to rival even Psychonauts, but Sandra is of the brightest gems among the cast, playing the classic role of the rich girl who’s come to loathe her privileged life. Who would’ve thought that having your every desire handed to you on a silver platter would eventually get boring? Sandra decides that she’s had enough of the monotony and acquires a taste for the daring, which in turn leads to her relationship with Wei (the game’s protagonist). Sexy cocktail dresses and all, this adrenaline-crazed seductress is in a league of her own when it comes to the “potential girlfriends” in Sleeping Dogs.
4. Moxxi (Borderlands 2)
Apparently, among the advancements in weaponry and robotics, Pandora’s scientists invented a way to collect and solidify raw innuendo. And Moxxi, the series’ murderous bartender, has made the stuff her snack of choice. If you hear three sentences out of this girl’s mouth that don’t include at least one sex joke, chances are, your game’s glitched. Hell, I’d believe that a meteor crashed directly into your television before believing that she held her tongue.
Moxxi hasn’t changed at all since her DLC debut in the original Borderlands; and I’m just fine with that. Her humor is fresh and entertaining, her voice is perfectly provocative, and her traditionally revealing outfit of masquerade-meets-carnival is still as eye-catching as ever.
3. Kat (Gravity Rush)
If you ask me, Kat is a workaholic. Not only is she Hekseville’s heroine, but she basically saved the Vita’s launch—a feat that I doubt anyone other than a gravity shifter could accomplish. Awesome powers or not, that can’t be easy to pull off while suffering from amnesia, so it’s a good thing she enjoys the spotlight so much. Then again, that’s one of Kat’s most impressive traits: being an amnesia-stricken protagonist who isn’t annoying. Lucky for us, while retaining both her upbeat attitude and emotional strength, she certainly didn’t forget how to fight.
2. Hildegard von Krone (SoulCalibur V)
Yes, you read that right. Not Ivy.
The SoulCalibur realm is populated by one of the most stereotypical and stylized casts known to gaming, which is part of what makes the series so enjoyable. But with so many charitably endowed warriors to choose from, you’ve got to have some real class to come out on top. Hilde has just that. Although this duty-driven knight is a recent addition to the hunt for Soul Edge, her unique style and pride have quickly made her a fan favorite. Then again, who can argue with a halberd-wielding, flame-haired, armor-clad beauty who boasts one hell of a moveset?
1. Ayane (Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor’s Edge)
There’s just something about a girl with a katana, but there are even more somethings about a pink-haired ninja in spandex with a katana.
Ayane is a remarkably interesting character given the somewhat shallow plot of the Ninja Gaiden games. How she was introduced to martial arts, the stories and rumors surrounding her birth and childhood, and her unique fighting style distinguish her from the sword-flailing maniacs that comprise most of the cast. Add this to her predominant shyness and cold attitude, and you’ve got one awesome female ninja.
Date: December 28, 2012
*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*