Top 10 Lamest Video Game Characters

Videos are beloved by all. They offer a few hours of adventure from the comfort of your couch. Unfortunately, while all games are created equal in the eyes of CheatCC, some games are less equal than others. When it comes to characters, there is a whole cast of characters widely hated for their lack of action, voice, or just general lameness in all of gaming. CheatCC is breaking down the top 10 lamest characters in gaming.

Tom Nook (Animal Crossing)

Animal Cross’s Tom Nook is easily the lamest character in the whole game series. Animal Crossing as a series is pretty simple. The player is a new resident in various towns filled with various animals. Depending on the game Tom Nook will be a shopkeeper, banker, and even a CEO of a corporation. What makes him so lame is his predatory lending practices.

As the player, the first you do is get a loan from Nook to start your new life. However, nooks loan is almost impossible to pay off. In New Horizons (the latest game at the time of writing) the player has to take a loan of 5000 Nook Miles just to start. Yes, Tom Nook has his own currency. What a nerd. To fully upgrade a house the player will borrow at least 5,746,000 Bells and 5,000 Nook Miles. The problem is this loan is the same as 250 in-game years of catching bugs. So much for the Animal Crossing dream, and it’s all because of Tom Nook.

Wheatley (Portal 2)

Portal 2 is host to a ton of extremely memorable characters. Unfortunately not all of the characters rank highly on the cool scale. For this list, Wheatley makes the cut as one of the lamest characters in the gaming world. Portal 2 follows the events directly after the first Portal. While kind of. From the main character Chell’s perspective it’s only been a few moments. However, thanks to some extra content a shadowy figure called the Ratman kept Chell alive via suspended animation.

Years later, it’s Wheatley who wakes Chell up and quickly becomes the most annoying and lamest video game antagonist ever. His level of idiocy knows no bounds, his voice clogs up your speakers with corny and frustrating lines, and it’s only Wheatley’s lame choices that push the story forward.

Aiden Pierce (Watch Dogs)

Players would think in a revolutionary new game like Watch Dogs that you could get some of the coolest characters ever! In some ways, they would be right. The premise of Watch Dogs sets up a world where hacking in a smart tech version of Chicago is the player’s most powerful weapon. One would think the main character would be this smart, suave, and sophisticated person.

Sadly, no they are not. Even though Aiden Pierce has impressive skills in fighting and hacking, it does not make up for his complete lack of personality. Easily one of the lamest main characters, Pierce had his skill tree max out on fighting and intelligence and zeroed out human interaction. To quote Louise from Bob’s Burgers, if Aiden Pierce was a spice he would be flour. Every interaction with other characters feels like he only learned how to speak the day before. He’s the gruff silent type but unfortunately, he doesn’t stay silent.

Micha Bell (Red Dead Redemption 2)

Red Dead Redemption 2 is easily one of the greatest games to ever exist. Even if the style or genre or the western gang setting doesn’t suit your fancy, the reviews don’t lie. However, the character is basically designed to be on this list does lie. Micha Bell is the lamest character in the entire Red Dead series. As a new addition to the Van Der Linde gang, Micha is a psycho and not a good one at that.

At every turn to escape the law and make enough money to leave, he sabotages the gang’s efforts. He kills them through his actions and inactions. His lines make the player want to wring his neck, only to bring him back and do it again. It takes a certain level of skill to be a loser gang member and Micha Bell nails this role without even breaking a sweat.

Max Caulfield (Life is Strange)

This entry will absolutely divide the readers of CheatCC however, Max and by proxy most of the characters in the first Life is Strange series are some of the lamest characters in gaming. The story centers around Max Caulfield, an 18-year-old attending an art academy in the Pacific Northwest. One day she discovered she could rewind time and prevent horrible things from happening. Max sees a vision of a massive storm destroying her tiny art school and the town she lives in.

Unfortunately, she does nothing of the sort. Without giving away any spoilers, Max’s choices mean basically nothing. Her interaction with the world and other people feel like they were written by a team of aliens that only read about how teenagers interact with the world. There are some tragedies in the town that Max does nothing to prevent but instead uses her powers for somewhat selfish reasons. The game claims she is 18 but her dialogue and actions make her feel 14. In all honesty, Max could be removed from this game and nothing would have changed in the events.

Markus (Detroit: Become Human)

This is yet another entry on this list to divide readers. Markus from Detroit: Become Human is one of the lamest characters in an otherwise amazing game world. Detroit: Become Human is set in the near future where androids have been taking over every human job in the world. They aren’t supposed to be conscious but with enough stress to their systems, they can “awaken” and think for themselves.

While most of the characters in this game are amazing, Markus feels like a cheap knockoff and painfully annoying. Starting as basically a hospice nurse Markus becomes an android revolutionary with zero charisma, a very confusing love arc, and annoying dialogue about high-school level philosophy of what it means to be alive.

Chole (Life Is Strange)

Unfortunately, Life is Strange gets another spot on this list with Chole as one of video game’s lamest characters. While Chole and Max are supposedly best friends who just had a falling out, there is no reason for them to be friends. Besides how annoying Max can be with her childish outlook and dialogue, Chole is worse. She is supposed to be the punk-rocker rebel character but fails at every turn.

Chole is always too cool and doesn’t care about anything because it makes her ‘edgy’. Her speaking roles are mostly just long sullen silences or failed jokes about the ‘man’ and how hard life is for middle-class people. At her core Chole is what a 6th grader might dream up as a rebel without a cause minus James Dean.

Waluigi (Mario Series)

The Mario Series is known for all kinds of villains and heroes but none is more lame than Waluigi. His intro to the world of Mario is via Mario Tennis for the N64 so not exactly the toughest of villains when the game is just a rich-person sport. His laugh, his plots, and his attacks in every game fall flat in anything cool or effective.

Claptrap (Borderlands)

Everyone has that annoying family member who won’t stop telling the same lame joke over and over again. Claptrap is that joke but as a lame character in Borderlands. He tells the same lame jokes, has predictable dialogue, and is in every single Borderlands game. Claptrap is supposed to be comic relief but instead, players just need relief from his robotic and insufferable voice.

Tingle (Legend of Zelda Series)

The Legend of Zelda series has its fair share of lame characters. However, Tingle, first appearing in Major’s Mask takes the cake for the lamest character. Tingle is a grown man dressing up like Green Man from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with none of the charm of Charlie Kelly. Instead, Tingle is fully convinced he is of fairy origin.

Flying around Hyrule as a map surveyor and just generally getting in the way of Link at any time is actually important for questing, resource-attaining, or story missions. Just the worst.