Successfully complete the indicated task to unlock the corresponding achievement. To view your achievements and stats in Steam, select "Community", "My profile", "View all my games", then the game and view stats.
- As You Wish: Survive Glorg.
- Can't Touch This!: Survive 'Slow Dance' for 40 seconds without dying.
- Damn Right, It's Better Than Yours!: Beat all gold times.
- Electronic Super Done!: Get every Star, beat every Gold Time, and earn 0 deaths in every level.
- Electronic Super King!: Earn every achievement.
- Get To The Chopper!: Clear level 'Over By Christmas' without dying and collect both Stars.
- Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza: Clear 'Slow Dance' without killing anything.
- I'm a Star-vivor!: Clear level 'Run Coward' without dying and collecting the Stars.
- It's Called "Butts" Now: Clear 'Flap Your Brains Out.'
- Make Love, Not War: Clear 'Babylon' without killing anything.
- Mass Murder: Murder The Pope.
- Mean Green Machine: Clear every level in World 4.
- Rear-venge!: Defeat The Groove Wizard.
- So Good I Ripped My Pants: Clear 'Ol' Ball and Chain.'
- So Long And Thanks For All The Stars: Collect every star.