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Room select

At the title screen, press [Space], then type one of the following room names to advance to the corresponding room. There will be no notification to show that you are typing. If you entered the code correctly, the screen will fade to black as you type the last letter of the room name.

    study
    parlor
    windmill
    house
    basement
    basementpart2
    whitepawn
    topsyturvy
    park
    blind
    immensity
    immensitypart2
    ending
    whatithinkofyou

Easy "Crackpot." achievement

In the "Immensity" level, keep breaking green vases until a large green vase falls from the sky to get the "Crackpot." achievement.

Easy "Insane." achievement

In the "Basement" level where the Einstein quote about insanity is found, repeatedly press the lever to get the "Insane." achievement.

Easy "Move Along, Pervert..." achievement

In the room where the game begins is a framed photograph of an anime girl on the wall. Get very close to the breasts of the girl in the photo, and stand there staring until you get the "Move Along, Pervert..." achievement.

Easy "One Day." achievement

In the "White Pawn" level, jump on the desk before turning on the radio. Turn towards the tall shelf to the right of the desk. Hold [Shift] to run and press [Space] to jump off the cigar box on the desk to reach the top of that shelf. Turn around slightly and the ceiling will cross with the sky, revealing a giant anime photo. Look at it to get the "One Day." achievement.

Easy "Quality." and "Wincest!" achievements

Successfully complete the "White Pawn Scenario" ("whatithinkofyou" level). From where you spawn in the room full of green vases, travel north until you see a trashcan. Press E and collect the key. Move south until you find a tipped over green vase. Shoot it only once. Then, go into the door to get the "Quality." and "Wincest!" achievements.

Easy "Something Sweet..." achievement

Note: This is best done after getting the "One Day." achievement. In the "White Pawn" level, turn on the radio on the couch. Vinny will yell for you to name something sweet. Type "honey" in response to get the "Something Sweet..." achievement.

Easy "Was Any Of That Real?" achievement

Successfully complete the "Black Pawn Scenario" ("basementpart2" level). Leave the house, and chase the orb back through the door. Break through that door to get the "Was Any Of That Real?" achievement.

Easy "You Have No Idea What You're Doing, Do You?" achievement

Start the game, then repeatedly press E (action command) in the main room until you get the "You Have No Idea What You're Doing, Do You?" achievement.

Easy "You're Not Santa, Get Out" achievement

While in the parlor, crouch and enter the fireplace to get the "You're Not Santa, Get Out" achievement.

Steam achievements

Successfully complete the indicated task to unlock the corresponding achievement. To view your achievements and stats in Steam, select "Community", "My profile", "View all my games", then the game and view stats.

    Crackpot.: A sizeable achievement.
    Insane.: Welp, there you go.
    Move along, pervert...: Stop looking at the damn picture.
    One Day.: Find the developer's future game concept art.
    Quality.: Complete the last level with a single bullet.
    Something Sweet...: Solve Vinny's riddle on your first attempt.
    Was any of that real?: Complete the Black Pawn Scenario.
    Wincest!: Complete the White Pawn Scenario.
    You have no idea what you're doing, do you?: Press E on every single bloody thing.
    You're not Santa, get out.: Screw around in the fireplace.
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