PC REVIEW: MORTYR II

I've put off reviewing Mortyr 2 until now. There are not many games out there right now that we haven't reviewed so it's time to parade the less prominent games on the site. Most of them turn out to be duds and that's why we put them on the backburner. On rare occasions we manage to find a sleeper, or I should say "discover." There's nothing like discovering a great sleeper when you're expecting a dud. It's like finding a diamond in your cat's litter box.

Continuing with that analogy, Mortyr 2 is exactly what you would expect to find in a litter box. It's kind of dried out so it doesn't stink too bad, and it's clumped with the litter so it doesn't look that bad either but let's make it clear that it's still a piece of crap.

This whole WWII scenario is getting a tad trite. Someone's got to do something with this premise that hasn't been done before. The original Mortyr used this same premise and for some reason so too does the sequel. The developers must have had plenty of extra scenery. And it looks like it too. The game looks dated. The animation is awful with stiff moving characters. The enemies look like they're running in slow motion. The original game is five years old and this one doesn't look any newer.

I hope you've got a lot of patience because the load times are really, really, really long and I don't see any reason why they should be. The environments are average. Some of the textures are so clean it gives the game a sterile appearance which is as unnatural as the gameplay.

Enemies swarm you in overwhelming numbers. They shoot at you from near and far. If they aren't running directly at you they'll be sending a hail of bullets in your direction from a long ways away. It's almost impossible to make a stand and take them on. Instead you'll have to resort to hiding, ducking and crawling - stuff that doesn't make you feel like much of a man.

While all this is going on you have to watch out for grenades. They are silent for some reason so if you don't keep your eyes open you're likely to have them closed permanently. If that weren't enough you can also count on a mortar round to blast your ass when you've managed to move an inch or two down the line. You can save anywhere but progress can be incredibly slow when you're under this kind of frustrating attack. The difficulty is unjustified.

Even when you manage to unload some lead into those Nazi bastards they seem to be made of steel. You'll have to empty plenty of magazine rounds to bring these guys to their knees. They fire from such a distance that getting accurate headshots is impossible unless you use the sniper rifle.

Even if this game were released five years ago, in place of the original, I still wouldn't care for it. The only good thing I can say about this game is that it made me feel incredibly lucky that I didn't have to review the first one.

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System: PC
Dev: Mirage
Pub: Mirage
Release: Feb 2005
Players: 1
Review by Cole
RATING (OUT OF 5)
OVERALL
2.0
GRAPHICS
2.5
CONTROL
2.0
MUSIC/FX
2.5
VALUE
.5