Laying it on Thick
When I first heard of Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard in Adam Brown’s excellent preview my curiosity was piqued. The idea of riffing on all the eras and clichés of gaming by creating a fictional character seemed like a fresh and potentially hilarious idea. That initial interest then turned into full-blown excitement when I learned that Will Arnett and Neil Patrick Harris were going to be lending their vocal stylings to the title. Surely, the developers were going to get it right… right?
Disappointingly, my hopes for the game were not fulfilled. Much of the humor and kitsch appeal ends up getting lost in the preponderance of mediocre gameplay. The very mechanics that the devs were poking fun at end up biting back and bringing the title down. Of course, such a result was inevitable, though a few gaming grognards will appreciate the fact that Vicious Cycle went ahead and made the game anyway. Doubtless, old-school and well-schooled gamers will find some laughs and even a modicum of enjoyment out of this title – in truth, I came away from the title surprisingly satisfied. However, if the game were strictly judged on its merits, it simply doesn’t make the grade.
Getting called back in from retirement by the new CEO of a fictional software development firm, Matt Hazard – a once great, now washed-up hero of gaming – suits up to make a comeback. Little does he know, he’s just a pawn being used by the new management to introduce new faces into the gaming world. Fortunately for Haz-Mat, he is narrowly saved at the last second by a beautiful avatar of a hacker known simply as QA. Matt then proceeds to fight his way through level after random, formulaic level, gaining new powers and combating the skeletons (and zombies) from his past. In this light, players will constantly be confronted by ridiculous yet humorous tidbits. At one point, you’ll even fight with water pistols from one of Matt’s diluted franchise spin-offs: Soak ‘Em (a clear jab at the S.O.C.O.M. series).
Eat Lead truly is a hodgepodge of gaming. Players will take on Colt-toting cowboys, have a Bond-esque showdown with a Russian twist, go up against an Arnold Schwarzenegger wannabe, wade their way through a zombie horde, join forces with a WoW-like fantasy wizard, do their best to best a character named Master Chef, and even take on the king of platforming – Captain Carpenter. All these themes and characters come together surprisingly well and provide for a lot of amusing interactions. This is perhaps the only reason to pick up this title and play it to its conclusion.
To its utter detriment, however, gameplay mechanics in Eat Lead are painfully trite and poorly contrived. It’s not that the game is unplayable; it’s just that you’ve done it all before in much more polished ways. For starters, the cover system – playing off Gears of War – is about as well developed as it was in Quantum of Solace, i.e. not very good at all. Players are able to snap to cover, blind fire, shoot overtop or around cover, hop to adjacent cover, diagonally rush out of one spot to the next, and even sidle from one side of cover to another to more efficiently protect themselves from the ever-moving enemies. While all the elements are here to make for a solid cover system, their implementation is simply not what you’d find in a AAA title. As such, constantly using cover feels like a cumbersome chore rather than an effective tactic. To make matters worse, one level actually has you constantly under threat from enemy sniper fire, forcing players to hop from cover to cover via the wonky controls for an extended period of time.
Secondly, while the third-person shooter mechanic works, it definitely feels antiquated. Hit detection is awful and aim assistance is nearly non-existent. Also, shooting multiple bullets into the chests and abdomens of your enemies is useless, as it takes about four or five shots to bring them down. That means headshots are the only way to go. I wouldn’t mind this if the controls were tighter, but as it is, this just ends up slowing down the gameplay. Consequently, you’ll be relegated to finding a patch of cover, waiting for the stupid enemy A.I. to stop, and then plugging them in the dome.
On that note, this game touts some of the most idiotic A.I. I’ve ever played against – they’ll either rush straight at you or run across the room, fully extended, before finding cover. In fact, my first double headshot kill (which unlocks a Trophy / Achievement) was due to enemies running sideways that got caught on a box. This is a foible that’s straight out of 1997’s GoldenEye. At first, I laughed because I thought it was done on purpose, but then I quickly realized that it was unintentional. Due to the game’s satirical nature, this frequently happens; players think the developers were clever in the way they employed old gaming quirks, but they’ll soon realize it’s just because the game’s not very good.
That’s not to say Vicious Cycle didn’t put in some of these faux pas on purpose. For example, many hallways, backs of stairways, and even an entire section of a level are too dark to see where you’re going, let alone play effectively. Undoubtedly, this pays homage to many previous generation shooters that didn’t have access to the array of lighting effects now available. While this was mostly unobtrusive, I eventually had to crank up the gamma setting just to get passed one section in particular. Other examples include enemies spawning out of nowhere, nondescript character design, prescribed boss battles, poorly implemented quick-time events, hackneyed expressions and catchphrases, uninteresting lackeys, a simple freeze / fire ammo augmentation, etc. While the inclusion of these mechanics succeeds in poking fun at action-shooters, gamers end up getting a title that actively and consistently seeks to employ the most tired and clichéd features of the genre. When all is said and done, you’re left with a pretty bad game.
Production values are also quite low for this title. The level design is linear and absolutely devoid of character – probably another misguided attempt at satire. There are also extensive aliasing issues – this game’s about as jagged as the Tetons. Additionally, character design and animations are as lackluster as can be. The musical themes, on the other hand, do a great job of preserving the kitsch feel without dumbing down the game. Surprisingly, the same can’t be said of the voice work. I love Will Arnett (Arrested Development) and Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother), but the lines they’re forced to read are wholly shambolic. The dialogue and catchphrases used throughout title are meant to be humorously passé, but they just come off as being tired and stale – a common theme that permeates this shooter.
I love what Vicious Cycle and D3Publisher tried to accomplish with Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard. Unfortunately, the satire and humor isn’t enough to save the title from its contrived gameplay. If you are a true gaming buff who’s interested in seeing the action-shooter genre get lampooned, Eat Lead is likely worth a rental. That being said, the painful mechanics will try their best to thwart your advance.
RATING OUT OF 5 RATING DESCRIPTION 2.0 Graphics
Extensive aliasing issues, linear level design, poor animations, and nondescript character design foil the visual presentation. 2.4 Control
This third-person shooter is familiar, but the cover system is quirky and there are extensive hit detection problems. 3.2 Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
The musical themes support the cheesy theme nicely, but the tired dialogue and catchphrases aren’t clever enough to produce many laughs. 2.3 Play Value
With only a single-player offering and being full of poorly executed mechanics, Eat Lead is seriously lacking play value. 2.4 Overall Rating – Poor
Not an average. See Rating legend above for a final score breakdown.
Game Features: