Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Review
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen box art
System: X360, PS3, PC, Wii, PS2, PSP, DS Review Rating Legend
Dev: Savage Entertainment 1.0 - 1.9 = Avoid 4.0 - 4.4 = Great
Pub: Activision 2.0 - 2.4 = Poor 4.5 - 4.9 = Must Buy
Release: Jun. 23, 2009 2.5 - 2.9 = Average 5.0 = The Best
Players: 1-2 3.0 - 3.4 = Fair
ESRB Rating: Everyone 3.5 - 3.9 = Good
I'm Fallen and I Can't Get Up
by Cole Smith

It's summertime, and that means it's blockbuster movie time, and that typically means that we can expect a bumper crop of crappy movie tie-in videogames. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a perfect example. Let's hope that this is the worst of the batch, because it's difficult to imagine what could possible beat it. Feel free to use your imagination. And then use it again in honor of all of developers that didn't use their imaginations to create this game.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen screenshot

Having seen the original live-action Transformers movie last year, it's staggering to realize that virtually any cartoon episode has a more involved storyline. I'm positive I won't be seeing this movie, but based on the game, and the game is apparently based on the movie, I would expect more of a plot in the instructions to making instant coffee. And this is coming from an overgrown kid that loves giant robots.

The fate of the world is in your hands, or feet, or wings, or jets, or missiles, or wheels, or whatever the hell else you use to move around and pummel your enemy with. You will play as both the Autobots and the Decepticons. There are 10 playable characters in all including Bumblebee, Optimus, Starscream, and Megatron. This is definitely an all-star cast. For an action movie, it's too bad the gameplay for the video game is a tragedy.

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Technically the game flawed, and considering the developers played it safe with linear, redundant levels, that's inexcusable. It's little more than a mindless shooting gallery, and with an annoying isometric perspective that is typically reserved for RPGs. There are no dynamics. Despite the different playable characters with different attributes and weapons, they are almost identical in strengths and abilities, meaning they aren't very strong and they don't have many abilities. There is little else to do with the characters but trudge in the direction you're pointed in and try to shoot at everything that moves. The missions are weak, as are the other elements thrown in to try to break up the monotony such as vehicle driving and boss battles.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen screenshot

Missions range from guarding buildings to escorting and protecting civilians. Basically they require that you shoot continuously. Hold down the fire button, strafe and continue until you just can't take it anymore. Technically you will experience glitches such as the Transformer failing to make contract with weapon and health power-up. The collision detection system doesn't always register commands. I had better luck picking things up when I stopped shooting for a few moments. Other commands such as the character's movement and shooting direction will display a mind of its own when the character is moving and shooting.

The Transformers in your command lumber through the levels like a goalie in a swimming pool. They are so damn slow. It's so frustrating that you're likely to damage your analogue stick as you push it hard in hopes of extracting some miracle burst of hidden speed. I suppose this slow movement is to give your character a sense of the colossus but all it does is negatively affect the gameplay since the enemies are faster. It also doesn't help there are overwhelming swarms of them. Just about every enemy or obstacle that you encounter requires a lot of firepower to destroy. You will be shooting and shooting and shooting, while seemingly getting nowhere. During this time the enemies and their turrets will be turning you into a cheese grater.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen screenshot

Screenshots / Images
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen screenshot - click to enlarge Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen screenshot - click to enlarge Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen screenshot - click to enlarge Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen screenshot - click to enlarge

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