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Iron Man Review for the Nintendo Wii

Iron Man Review for the Nintendo Wii

Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t superheroes supposed to protect the innocent? If that is the tenant we all hold true, then this virtual version of perpetual boozehound Tony Stark may just be guilty of crimes against humanity. Yes, the sad saga continues. Another severely flawed game has been rushed to release in hopes of capitalizing on the brilliance of a blockbuster movie. It is a scenario gamers are far too familiar with, and frankly, I have had just about enough. Where the movie packed in humor, intrigue, drama, and action, this incarnation seems to lack any pulse whatsoever. Thus, the age old question, “What could have been?” is all that remains.

Iron Man screenshot

Following loosely in the footsteps of the movie, Iron Man, the game, makes every effort to ensure the story will make no sense whatsoever by adding as many useless plot points as possible. It is a bold move, but unfortunately it does not pay off. Sure, incorporating old enemies from Iron Man lore sounds like a good idea, but weaving them into the plot of the source material just makes for a muddled mess. It’s the Spiderman 3 principle: more is not always better. Providing boss fights just for the sake of having some semblance of a climactic battle to end each stage is not necessary, particularly when a game is as annoying and repetitive as this one. Going from blasting terrorists down with one powerful shot to battling a ridiculously large tank for fifteen minutes is about as fun as watching the original Captain America movie. Believe me: it is bad.

With the premise drowning in a pool of its own stupidity, perhaps the gameplay could act as a savior to this fledgling project. Wrong! Iron Man is a button masher; plain and simple all you need to do is wail on the shoot button, and you should almost assuredly survive the countless onslaughts of randomly appearing baddies. Yes, one of the more charming gameplay quirks is the enemy who appears out of thin air. Add to that the poor collision detection, and you have got yourself the makings of something special.

Iron Man screenshot

Despite Ironman’s uncanny ability to frustrate me, there is one interesting aspect that holds potential: the ability to earn upgrades for your slick, super, killing suit. By forcing yourself to traverse through the game, perhaps as some sort of penance for past deeds, Iron Man will continually up his arsenal. His armor, pulsor, missiles, and Gatling gun will all get progressively more efficient at wiping out the hoards of gun-toting terrorists.

Now, with that out of the way I can go back to being the old negative Tom we all know, and mostly hate. As I have stated, Iron Man is an extremely repetitive and limited experience. Couple that with its ridiculous mission objectives, which border somewhere between the lines of Superman 64 and Spiderman 2, and gamers will find very little to enjoy in this snooze fest.

Iron Man screenshot

Up to this point it is safe to say that Iron Man is shooting way under par, and not in the good way. The graphics follow this trend with extremely bland visuals. The core of Ironman’s design packs extremely flat backgrounds, which lack any real depth or texture. These fit nicely with the overall grainy feel of the visuals. It is so drab and dreary that it is more than a tad bit sore on the old eyes. They are last-gen in every sense of the term. It cannot even be blamed on the Wii; rather it is just another notch on the crumby movie-tie-in-game’s belt. Even the suit lacks polish, the one area where you would hope some cool effects might be present. Although there are some decent animated cutscenes that occur in between missions, they can hardly distract you from the overall look.

Iron Man screenshot

The sound might have been the most disappointing aspect of them all for me. You go out and get Robert Downey Jr. and Terence Howard to reprise their roles from the movie, and you present them with one of the worst scripts I have ever had the displeasure of hearing. Where is the wit, the classic Robert Downey Jr. charisma? Say what you will about the guy, but he is a fantastic actor. Unfortunately, here he drums out the lines like some kind of humorless robot. A truly unfortunate misstep in what could have been a real bright spot. That being said, having his voice alone makes the sound the best part of this entire game.

The controls, similar to the rest of the ensemble, misfire completely. They are too finicky and just add to the already ample amount of aggravation. Both in and out of play they are not nearly as responsive as they need to be. Often times you will have to hit a button more than once just to navigate your way through the opening menu. Once you get used to them, things begin to flow a little easier, but they are still overly sensitive. Flying a high-powered super-suit it supposed to be fun times 2 not divided by 7. If you get my math, our fun level after playing this game is now bordering on zero.

I’ll present you with an idea; I’ll just run this by you real quick, so hear me out. Save forty bucks, go to your local multiplex, purchase a ticket to see the movie, buy whatever concessions make your theatre experience more enjoyable, and have a blast. The movie is good; the game is not, so save yourself the heartache, the pain, and a few hours. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky, but that’s life.

RATING OUT OF 5 RATING DESCRIPTION 2.2 Graphics
Dull, flat backgrounds with as little detail as possible. This package lacks shine and so does poor Tony’s super suit. 2.6 Control
Work at times, but too often these babies misfire. 3.5 Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
Robert Downey Jr. is the man, but not even he can save a script this poor. 1.0

Play Value
You beat it, you send it the scrap heap, and pray to God it is never rebuilt.

1.8 Overall Rating – Avoid
Not an average. See Rating legend above for a final score breakdown.

Game Features:

  • A DEVASTATING WEAPON: Iron Man alone battles armies of fighter jets, military tanks, armored Super Villains, and more.
  • POWER CONTROL: Players will direct power to different parts of Iron Man’s suit, creating a variety of unique attacks.
  • CHAOTIC BATTLEFIELDS: Open-ended battlefields create adrenaline packed combat filled with unpredictable challenges.
  • BEYOND THE MOVIE: The game includes additional plotlines and characters from the Iron Man Comic Universe that are not featured in the movie.
  • OPEN WORLD: Players have complete freedom to move anywhere in the environment and make seamless transitions between ground combat and open air flight.

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