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The Splatters Review for Xbox 360

The Splatters Review for Xbox 360

Splat Goes My Enthusiasm

It’s only in a society that assigns monetary value to pleasure activities that one can view “fun” as a consumable resource in the same way that one regards basic necessities, such as food and water. The amount one gains of that resource for the money invested is the item in question’s relative value. It’s sad, in a way, that a game can then be “fun,” doing nothing that is wrong or that strongly detracts from the experience, yet comes across as a waste of money whether because its price is set too high or the enjoyment it provides simply isn’t strong or enduring enough.

The Splatters has a solid enough premise: One doesn’t directly control a character, instead seeking to kamikaze bright, primary-colored blobs with broad, smiling faces against the terrain to burst them (or “splatter” them, as the game would probably prefer) into splashes of similarly colored goo. When the goo touches a bomb of its color, that bomb lights up and goes off. Dramatic increases in score can be achieved by splattering large groups of bombs all at once and chaining together a variety of combo abilities that are taught over the initial 19 levels of the game. These help add some depth to the otherwise simplistic gameplay, entailing the ability to redirect a Splatter in mid-air, accelerate it so that it dashes against a wall in one quick burst, or reverse the direction of everything on motion in screen, condensing clouds of goo, pulling airborne bombs back through them, or accelerating a Splatter back and forth around a half-pipe until its momentum peaks.

The Splatters Screenshot

These antics serve players in two modes, other than the introductory levels that gradually acclimate them to the game’s mechanics: a combo-based score mode, in which chaining together abilities and having Splatters left over between rounds to continue the action even as the next phase sets up (sustaining the combo meter and boosting one’s score) is absolutely critical; and a stunt-focused sub-game in which the levels tell you which stunts must be performed in the pursuit of bomb-exploding goo splashes. You are not limited to these stunts alone, and are in fact encouraged to perform as many stunts as possible in order to maximize your score (going about simple tasks in the most complex way).

And that’s it. That’s the entire game. After the introductory levels, the game does not evolve. It certainly becomes more difficult, demanding more judicious use of one’s Splatters, conserving them as much as possible, but later stages don’t demand more creativity, just more caution as one uses the same basic tactics over and over again. Often when a strategy works out spectacularly, it isn’t because of what one planned, but because of the seemingly random chance that has at least some say in exactly when and to what degree the Splatter you’re controlling bursts apart. Yes, you guided that Splatter to the right area, but the fact that it hit all of the bombs in the cluster this time instead of just ten out of fourteen was a matter of pure chance.

The Splatters Screenshot

For a while, this alone will prove satisfying. The graphics are pleasant, with the anthropomorphized gelatinous blobs yelping and giggling as they’re shot around the level, smiling all the way as they stretch into a blur before careening head-on into a wall or a spiked outcropping. On impact, the bursts of liquid they form feel dense, yet have a certain, syrupy flow to them. Their droplets seem to catch on the environment before either fading into it or sliding off of it, thick and yet mobile all at once. It’s very satisfying to watch, knowing that you were the force behind this phenomenon. Juicy: that’s the word I was looking for. Impacts and the splatters of color they create are juicy and viscous. There are neat touches in the game’s HUD elements too, which include clouds shaped like the symbols for the actions you must perform in stunt mode, which break apart as you complete them.

The end of level rating, too, is somehow immensely satisfying to see; The Splatters is presented as though it is a television game show at times, with an implied audience that makes its presence known through its “ooh”s and “ahh”s as you perform aerial acrobatics. The cries of the blobs themselves are endearing enough, rarely ever passing into the realm of annoying. Nothing about the sound design particularly stands out, though; there’s a bit of a hard rock chord when you finish a level, which is kind of cool and all, and stuff like the jet engine roar when you rocket a Splatter off in a new direction mid-flight is neat, but doesn’t really provide new information or anything, y’know?

The Splatters Screenshot

And that can be one of the game’s biggest issues: feedback. It doesn’t really provide enough of it, to tell you what it is that you didn’t do that you should have or that you did do and shouldn’t have. Levels sometimes have fairly obvious intentions for certain Splatters, but most of the time it’s up to you to come up with an efficient yet showy solution, and sometimes what you get feels awfully tame and exploitative. “This shouldn’t really work,” you’ll say to yourself. “The game will find some way to punish me for it, right?” Except it will work and the game won’t really punish you. Watching the uploaded replays of absurdly acrobatic rounds by top players, you’ll find yourself thinking, “That’s cool, but isn’t that totally unnecessary?” The Splatters, despite its three-star rating system that demands replay of levels due to the excessive dearth between most two-star and three-star ratings, failed to lock into that circuit that makes me sink my teeth into a level until I’ve achieved a full rating in it, the one that has seen me spend hours obsessing over a single puzzle in Cogs, trying to find the most efficient solution instead of just “eh, whatever works.”

The Splatters Screenshot

I think the most damning thing about The Splatters is that, in a level-based puzzle game, I never saw a single layout that stuck in my mind. The best such experiences leave a real impression on me, a particularly devious and/or well-designed brain teaser that I describe excitedly to friends, or at least remember fondly from time to time whenever the game is brought to mind. Instead, in such situations, I find myself picturing the overly-jubilant Splatters and the hodge-podge pastiche of inspirations that formulate each stage, seemingly from the mind of a very structured and tame Dali.

This is a game that would be most at home on smartphones, alongside fare such as Angry Birds, retailing for a dollar or two and drawing crowds with its slick production values and simple yet enjoyable core gameplay. As a $10 Xbox LIVE Arcade title, though, it lacks variety and inspiration, its puzzles never providing an “aha!” moment nor doing enough to stand out on a purely visual basis. The game doesn’t do anything inherently wrong, no, but it doesn’t do enough right to justify its price, and that is plenty wrong in my book.

RATING OUT OF 5 RATING DESCRIPTION 4.0 Graphics
Endearing character designs, great use of motion blur, and satisfying physics make for a colorful, visual treat. 3.5 Control
There isn’t a lot to remember, yet mistakes will still be made because one button does many different things depending on context. Also, aiming feels imprecise at times. 2.5 Music / Sound FX / Voice Acting
Nothing that really stands out, but nothing offensive, either. Could use more memorable music, to be sure. 2.0 Play Value
Despite the large number of levels, the similarity of each experience breeds monotony, and there simply isn’t enough to the core gameplay to justify either the amount of content or the price tag attached to it. It overstays its welcome. 3.0 Overall Rating – Fair
Not an average. See Rating legend below for a final score breakdown.

Review Rating Legend
0.1 – 1.9 = Avoid 2.5 – 2.9 = Average 3.5 – 3.9 = Good 4.5 – 4.9 = Must Buy
2.0 – 2.4 = Poor 3.0 – 3.4 = Fair 4.0 – 4.4 = Great 5.0 = The Best

Game Features:

  • Master a variety of unlockable stunts and perform unimaginable moves to clear out each stage in the most spectacular way possible
  • With its original physics-driven liquid engine, unlimited replayability, and competitive leaderboards you’ll never play the same way twice.
  • Stunts are unlimited, and as soon as you unlock one, it’s yours to use any time you want. The rule is simple: the more stunts you do with every move you make, the more spectacular your show becomes.

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